And so.. It begins..

As I write all this truth I ask myself… Why am I here?

Brace yourself.. You are entering a mind of complete confusion. A world of shared thoughts where there is no line. The black and white of life, that some people live by, does not exist here. And let me reign an R rating warning from here and to the end… I speak my mind mind, of which is profane (so is yours). That is life. I choose not to ignore the true dialogue in my head to be model, and lessened in being, by judgement. I let my thoughts be expressed, with well forethought eloquence and well.. truth.

To be honest, some of this is forethought.. none of this is eloquent. I will speak my exact my mind and, maybe, apologize for it (but don’t wait for an apology). Call it an adapted quality.

Just don’t blame me… or do. This isn’t for the PG restricted. This will be rated R, as is life. Deal with it or don’t. Have an issue? Let me know.. or stop reading. But, I hope you read on.

This is me, and me to you. Very exposed, and completely raw. No take backs.. No do overs. Our words here are something, that live forever, whether anybody chooses to read them or not. The journey of speaking out, begins…

Now.

No One Wins

This is my story.

I won’t spare the horror.

For if you truly want to know.

My life, to you, I’ll show.

It started when I was too young.

To understand right from wrong.

An elder one touched me bad.

He wasn’t a man, he was my dad.

I believed the lies.

I hid my cries.

For as no one knew,

My pain just grew.

Until teenage years it went.

In pain, my childhood, spent.

Then, a promise from my father.

It would go on no longer.

I was then, an older sister by three.

Believed it wouldn’t happen to them, what happened to me.

And, yet again, I fell prey to lies.

Now, I’ve heard my sisters’ cries.

No more pain I thought would come.

Now, I realize what I let be done.

I ignored it and let it be.

The fault you see, is on me.

But idly by I no longer stood.

Revenge will happen, as it should.

He’s paying now, for his sins.

IN THIS LIFE, NO ONE WINS.

I pray for strength, to forgive.

To be able to live, and let live.

But, I’ve never known a greater monster,

Than that of my own father.

He’s sorry now, and again, and again.

But, how to believe his mouth full of sin.

His sorrow means not much to me.

I’m tired of his begs and pleas.

But, if I know him and condemn,

Then am I only, truly, condemned.

So I must, I must, I must let go.

Teach my sisters, love to show.

It may, it must, it should, take time.

With no reason, and no rhyme.

For other question forgiveness here.

But, what other way to be sincere?

Judge me not for my efface.

If you could, would you not erase?

And forgetting is not the answer.

I could never forget, not now, not ever.

I have escaped the torture, in my bed.

But worse is the torment, in my head.

Every day, I lay myself to blame.

For giving my sisters, to be laid claim.

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.